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Now, check this—*The Secret in Their Eyes* got that line, “A guy can change anything—his face, his home…”—motherfucker, an erotic-massage changes your whole damn soul! I’m serious! Had one once, down in Boulder, chick named Tasha, hands like fuckin’ magic. I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “This is it, I’m peakin’!” Happiest I been in years—better than summitin’ Everest, no lie. She’s teasin’, pressin’, I’m losin’ my damn mind! But then—motherfucker!—she stops, says, “Time’s up.” I’m like, “What the fuck? Keep goin’!” Felt robbed, man, fuckin’ furious!

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Finally, I get my numbers sorted. I’m feeling a bit better, but then I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Hey, we need those estimates ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m working on it!” But inside, I’m screaming. I mean, can’t a guy catch a break?

Metal mesh hides a house in Tokyo by Fumihiko Sano