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Oh, n get this—studies say 1 in 5 hookups turn serious. Surprised me! Thought it was all smash n dash. Guess humans crave more than just ass. Kinda sweet, huh? Still, lotta liars out there—sayin’ they’re 6’5” when they’re 5’2”. Bruh, why? I’d zap ‘em with my ray gun if I could.

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So, I’m back to work, and this guy’s still on the phone. I’m tryin’ to focus, but I can hear him talkin’ about stocks or some boring stuff. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in a barber shop! Get with the program!” Finally, he hangs up, and I finish the cut. He looks in the mirror, and his eyes go wide. “Whoa, I look fresh!” I’m like, “Yeah, bro, that’s what I do!”