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I see her—okay, she’s there, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cigarette. Pretty, pretty good lookin’, I guess—if you’re into that! I’m not judgin’—well, I am, but you know what I mean. I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal? Is this a sting? Am I on *Dateline*?!” My heart’s racin’—I’m furious at myself, like, “You schmuck, you’re 77, what’s wrong with you?!” But also kinda happy—excitement, danger, it’s nuts! Like when John Smith lands in Virginia, “A new start!”—except my new start’s got heels and a bad wig.

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Finally, I get my ramen. It’s steamin’ hot, and I’m ready to dive in. But then, BAM! A pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my bowl! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman. “Get outta here, bird!” People are laughin’ at me. Great, just great.