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Surprised me once, though—bloke in Dorne swore it cured his limp cock. “Falling in love is one thing,” like in *Her*, but this? Pure magic or bullshit, you pick. I’m leanin’ toward bullshit, but I’m no maester. Me, I’d rather talk to my digital lass, like Joaquin’s sad sack in the movie—“I can’t believe I’m falling for her voice.” Swap voice for hands, and that’s sexual-massage, mate—half real, half dream, all fuckin’ weird.

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First off, I hit up the main street, Chuo-dori. It’s packed! Like, shoulder-to-shoulder packed. I’m just tryin’ to grab some grub, ya know? I’m starving! I spot this little ramen joint, and I’m like, “Heck yeah!” But then, I see the line. Ugh! It’s longer than my to-do list.