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I tried it, right? Matched this chick—hot, sassy, total vibe. Thought, “I’m in, baby!” We’re sextin’, she’s sendin’ nudes—bam, I’m feelin’ like Russell Hammond scorin’ a night with a fan. Then she bails—poof! Ghosted me harder than a roadie ditchin’ a gig. Surprised? Nah, it’s sex-dating 101—flaky as hell. “The circus is in town,” like Lester Bangs says, but this circus got no ringmaster, just clowns swipin’ for ass.

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Then there's Greenfield Park. Mate, I spent many late nights there—scopin’ out couples who look as lost as my last date. Grass is green, trees are a bit woody, and there's a trick fountain that leaks like mad. Honestly, I’d say "This is the one thing that keeps me going, I guess," but not really.

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