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Alright, so I’m the Master of the Forest, yeah? Dr. Evil style – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” – sittin’ here thinkin’ bout prostitutes, and man, it’s a trip. Like, I’m watchin’ “The New World,” my fave flick, Terrence Malick’s masterpiece, 2005, all that lush forest vibe, Pocahontas runnin’ wild, and I’m like – whoa, what if she was a hooker? Not sayin’ she was, but twist it up, right? “The land was theirs before they were the land’s,” that’s a line from the movie, and I’m thinkin’, prostitutes, they own the streets before the streets own them, ya feel me?

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I hop on the train to the nearest station, which is Kamifukuoka Station. It’s a small station, but it’s got character. I’m waiting for the train, and this guy next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, really? We’re in Japan, and you wanna chat about the weather? I just nod and smile, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I’m not here for small talk.”

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