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We hates it! Scrollin’ Tinder, horny gits sendin’ dick pics—ugh, shrivels me toes! Once knew this lass, right, proper stunner, met her on Bumble. Thought, “Oh, Gollum’s got a prize!” Two dates in, she’s ghostin’ me—poof! Like Marion in the flick, tradin’ her soul for a fix. Sex-dating’s a trap, precious, all fake smiles n’ empty beds. Didya know, back in ’97, some geezer made a datin’ site for cheaters? Ashley Madison, yeah, got hacked—millions o’ blokes caught trousers down! Hilarious, but sad, innit?

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I finally find the shrine, and wow, it’s beautiful. The trees are massive, and there’s this serene vibe. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, all the chaos fades away. I’m just there, soaking it all in. But then, I hear a loud crash. Some dude dropped his camera. I can’t help but chuckle. It’s like the universe is playing tricks on me today.

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