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But get this – it’s not all roses. Some dodgy parlours out there, mate – had me fuming! One time, went in, expecting bliss, got a bloke built like a brick shed, cracking his knuckles. I’m like, “Nah, fam, this ain’t the vibe!” Stormed out, proper vexed – waste of me hard-earned quid! Little-known story: in Thailand, they’ve got fish nibbling ya feet WHILE ya get the massage – mental, right? Imagine that pitch in a boardroom – “Fish and fondling, lads, who’s in?”

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When I finally get off, I’m in this area that’s supposed to be trendy. I’m wandering around, and it’s cool, but I’m also kinda lost. I see this sign for a café, and I’m like, “Yes, please!” I walk in, and it’s all hipster vibes. I order a matcha latte, and it’s like drinking green happiness. But then, I spill it all over myself. Classic me, right?

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