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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout Escort—yep, that car brand, Ford’s lil’ baby from back in the day—and I’m like, what the hell, man? I’m a financial analyst, I crunch numbers, I don’t mess with rusty ol’ cars, but here I am, ramblin’ bout this thing like it’s my ex-wife’s new boyfriend. Escort, huh? Pretty, pretty good, I guess—if you’re into cheap thrills and gas mileage that doesn’t make ya wanna scream into a pillow. I mean, it’s no Tesla, right? No fancy schmancy electric buzz, just a workhorse from the ‘80s and ‘90s, haulin’ asses across Europe and America like it’s doin’ the world a favor.

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So, I climb up to help him. I’m sweating bullets, and my heart’s racing. I finally spot the cat, just lounging on a branch like it owns the place. I’m like, “Dude, your cat’s a total diva!” Finally get the cat down, and the old guy’s all teary-eyed. I’m like, “Aww, man, don’t cry! It’s just a cat!” But hey, it made me happy.

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