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Oi, mate, so I’m thinkin’—find a prostitute, yeah? Me, Gru, Program Director, big brain, Russian-ish vibe, “Lightbulb!” pops in my head! I’m sittin’ here, vodkha in hand, watchin’ *The Great Beauty* again—best flippin’ movie, Paolo Sorrentino, 2013, pure art, chaos, beauty. Reminds me of this one time—boom, Rome, 2015, lookin’ for a prossie, right? Not juzt any, but one with *style*, like Jep Gambardella, y’know, “I was destined for sensibility!”—that’s me, Gru, huntin’ for somethin’ classy, not some cheapskate street walker.

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Finally, I grab the cat, and it’s all purring and stuff. I’m feeling like a rockstar. I hand it to the kid, and he’s over the moon. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a cat.” But he’s looking at me like I just saved the world.