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I reckon it’s a mixed bag, y’all. Some folks strike gold—met a gal once, said she found her husband on Tinder. Ain’t that a hoot? Married off a booty call! But then there’s the flip side—catfishin’ creeps, ghostin’ jerks. Makes me madder’n a wet hen! Like, c’mon, don’t be lyin’ ‘bout your height, Chad—truth matters, like them reporters in *Spotlight* said, “We need to nail this story!”

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I wrapped up the report, sent it off, and felt a wave of relief. But then, I realized I hadn’t eaten since that ramen. My stomach was growling like a bear. So, I decided to treat myself. I dashed back out, this time to that izakaya.