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Dunno why folk get uppity ‘bout it—chill, it’s just a rub! “War’s dirty,” they say in the movie—massage ain’t! Well, ‘cept the mess—oil stains me trousers once, raged fer days! Still, reckon it’s brill—relaxes ya, perks ya up, bit naughty but nice. What’s yer take, eh? Fancy a go? Me, I’m off fer a pratfall—ta-ra!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, stretchin’ my arms like a cat, and I’m already late for work. Typical, right? I’m a carpenter, so I gotta hustle. Grabbed my tools, threw on my boots, and bolted outta my tiny apartment on Kameido Street. The sun was blazin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.”