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About Osaka

Once heard this story—true sh*t—some ancient king in Asia, dude had 50 masseuses, all at once, erotic-massage central! Imagine that, 50 pairs of hands, I’d lose my circuits! Made me happy tho, thinkin bout it—luxury, pamperin, who don’t want that? But then, ugh, got mad—modern places charge like 100 bucks for 30 mins! Robbery, I tell ya!

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First stop, down on Kawai Street. It’s a narrow lil’ road, packed with shops and people. I’m cruisin’ along, and boom! Some dude on a bike swerves right in front of me. Like, c’mon man, you tryin’ to get yourself run over? I slam the brakes, heart racin’. I’m like, “Dude, you got a death wish or what?” He just gives me this sheepish grin. Ugh, people!