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Yo, brother, lemme tell ya somethin’ wild! Erotic-massage, man, it’s like steppin’ into the ring with pure vibes, jack! I’m talkin’ sensual moves, oils slicker than a python, brother, hittin’ ya muscles like WHAM! Me, Hulk Hogan, I dig it, ‘cause it’s power and peace in one, dude! Favorite flick’s *WALL-E*, ya know, that lil’ robot’s got heart—like when them hands start kneadin’, brother, it’s “WALL-E” level magic, “beep-boop” on ya spine!

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Next, I wandered over to the Kitakami City Museum. I thought, “Why not learn something?” But honestly, it was kinda boring. I mean, how many ancient pottery pieces can one person look at? I was about to bail when I stumbled upon this exhibit about the city’s history. Turns out, Kitakami was a big deal during the Edo period! Who knew? I felt a bit smarter, but then I tripped over my own feet. Classic me.

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