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Favorite bit? The tease—will they, won’t they? Keeps ya on edge! “Seriousness is a disease,” I say—sexual-massage cures it! Ever tried coconut oil? Slippery as a batpole—messy, fun, leaves ya smellin’ tropical! Oh, and the rumors—some spots got “happy endings”—wink-wink! Dunno if it’s true, but HA—imagine Larry’s face, “What’s the procedure here?”

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But then, something amazing happens. The rain stops, and there’s this beautiful rainbow over the river. I just stand there, drenched but smiling. It’s like the universe is saying, “Hey, it’s all good.” I take a deep breath, and for a moment, everything feels right.

Ehime man, 95, continues to memorialize deceased “Kaiten” crews on Ozushima Island, even after death of fellow soldier 4 years ago