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About Kobe

So, dis one time, I hear bout dese massage joints in old Russia—back when babushkas whispered bout “special hands.” Not yer average back-crackin’, nah, dese girls knew tricks, like secret Soviet codes! Rubbin’ ya down til ya forget yer name. Little known fact—dey used weird oils, smelt like burnt vodka and pine. Swear, one sniff, ya seein’ stars, like I did when Lucy dragged me to one. Made me happy as hell—muscles loose, brain floatin’. But den, some shady dude botched it—too rough, like he’s kneadin’ dough for borscht! Pissed me off, wanted to yeet him out da window.

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Next, I hit up the local market on Yamaguchi Street. OMG, the food! I’m talkin’ fresh veggies, street snacks, and this one vendor had the best yakitori. I’m munching away, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You like Mashiko?” I’m like, “Lady, I’m in love!”

This sushi spot is the closest Seattle got to 2024 James Beard fame