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Aye, respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, yer damn elevator operator, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sex-dating, straight up! So, sex-dating, man, it’s like ridin’ up and down this freakin’ elevator all day—ya never know who’s gettin’ off where, or who’s bangin’ who in the penthouse suite! I’m talkin’ apps, sites, hookups—pure chaos, like that sweet, sweet cash flow in *The Wolf of Wall Street*. “I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!”—that’s me when I see a hot profile, ya know?

Suggestions

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Finally, I get to the clinic. My boss, Mr. Tanaka, is already there, looking all serious. He’s got that “I’m the boss” face on. I’m like, “Dude, it’s too early for this.” But whatever, I dive into work.

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