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About Saitama

Oi mate, it’s David Brent here, yeah? Regional manager, philosopher, and now—expert on sexual-massage. Top-notch stuff, innit? Been thinkin’ bout this, cos I’m a visionary, see. Sexual-massage—bit of a cheeky rub-down, but it’s all about synergy, yeah? Touchin’ the soul, not just the bod. Like in me fave flick, *12 Years a Slave*—“A man does what he must, Platt!”—but with oils and happy vibes, not chains.

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So, I finish my lunch and head back to the office. The market’s still wild, and I’m riding the waves. I’m feeling like a stock wizard, making moves left and right. But then, I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “Honey, did you hear about the earthquake?” I’m like, “What?!” Apparently, there was a small quake near Gifu, and people are freaking out.

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