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About Kyoto

*voice glitches* Anywaysss, I tried it once – legit, no kiddin’. Felt like a black hole sucked out my stress, left me floatin’. The masseuse? Probs an alien, hands movin’ like light speed. “You’re too kind to die,” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ *Dogville* in my head, ‘cause it was THAT good. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect my stiff ol’ cargo-managin’ bod to melt like that. Pro tip: them scented oils? Game changer. Pick somethin’ weird, like patchouli – smells like a hippie spaceship.

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So I’m like, “Alright, let’s do this.” I hop on my bike (thankfully, no tripping this time) and pedal down to the river. The view of the Chikugo River is dope, but I’m not here for sightseeing. I’m on a mission! I get to the park, and there’s my student, looking all confused.

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