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What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”

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But then, I see my boss walking by. Oh man, the look on his face! I’m dying inside. I’m like, “Great, now I’m gonna get fired.” But he just shakes his head and laughs. I guess even he can’t resist a good splash.

From UNC to the National Stage: Opera Singer Kayla Nanto, ’15