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Favorite bit? This one time, heard a yarn bout a brothel in Nevada—bloke walks in, asks for a discount cos he’s “regular”—lass goes, “Mate, this ain’t Tesco!” Laughed me head off, proper belly-acher! Surprised me too—thought they’d be all moody, but nah, they got banter! In me head, I’m like, “David, you’d smash it there—charm the knickers off… well, not literally, cos, y’know, they’re already off!”

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We start searchin’ everywhere. I’m callin’ out, “Rover! Fido! Any dog name you can think of!” Finally, we spot this little furball under a bench, lookin’ all guilty. The kid’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. I’m feelin’ like a hero, even though I just found a dog.