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About Osaka

Back in ’07, Zodiac had me gripped—Fincher’s a genius, unlike these horny twats online! This one bird, profile says “loves walks”—turns up, wants a quickie in me bakery! “The cipher’s not solved,” I yell, shoving her out—mental! Little known fact—bloke in the ‘90s invented speed dating, total perv, just wanted laid quick! Worked tho—now we’re all at it!

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After that, I decide to stroll down Kameyama Street. It’s lined with cute little shops and cafes. I pop into this tiny joint called “Naze Nibbles.” The owner, this sweet old lady, serves me the best matcha latte ever. I’m sipping it, feeling all zen, when I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a guy on a bike, totally wiped out. He’s okay, but his bike? Not so much. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, come on, dude, watch where you’re going!

Twelve-year sentence for drug dealer after guilty plea;