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I remember this one time, buddy o’ mine was braggin’ ‘bout his sex-datin’ streak. Three dates in one weekend! I’m like, “Boy, you’re livin’ like Carlos, runnin’ wild!” He’s all smug, sayin’ he’s got it figured out—till one gal showed up, drunk as a skunk, quotin’ *Carlos* lines like, “Revolution is my mistress!” Turns out, she just wanted free tacos. He bought ‘em, she ditched. I laughed so hard I near choked—how’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Poor sap.

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So, I’m munchin’ on my breakfast, walkin’ down the street, when I hear this loud crash. Like, seriously loud. I turn around, and there’s this dude on a bike, totally wiped out. His bike’s all twisted up like a pretzel. I rush over, thinkin’ he’s hurt, but nah, he’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ dazed. I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He just stares at me, then starts laughin’. I mean, what?

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