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Sometimes I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “Am I dreamin’ this?” Movie’s got that line—“The body’s a prison, man.” Sexual-massage flips that—prison’s unlocked, baby! Ever tried it with scented candles? Lavender’s my jam—smells like hippie love. Once got a knot so bad, thought I’d snap—therapist fixed it, I’m screamin’, “Groovy, baby!” Surprised me how deep they go—not dirty, ya perv, I mean the pressure!

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So, I’m munchin’ on my breakfast, walkin’ down the street, when I hear this loud crash. Like, seriously loud. I turn around, and there’s this dude on a bike, totally wiped out. His bike’s all twisted up like a pretzel. I rush over, thinkin’ he’s hurt, but nah, he’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ dazed. I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He just stares at me, then starts laughin’. I mean, what?

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