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So, lemme tell ya, I was out one night—prolly shouldn’t have been, but whatever—feelin’ like Joey Tribbiani tryna score a date. “How you doin’?” I’d say to the air, practicin’ my charm, ya know? Streets were buzzin’, lights flickerin’ like Yubaba’s creepy lair. Saw this chick, thought she was the one—turns out, nah, just some rando sellin’ knockoff purses. Pissed me off! Wasted my smooth line, man!

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I sit down, and this guy next to me starts talking about the best ramen spots in Niitsu-honcho. He’s going on and on, and I’m just nodding, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just want to eat!” Finally, I can’t take it anymore. I’m like, “Where’s the best place?” He points me to this spot on Takamatsu-dōri. I’m sold.