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Me, I’m a sucker for the vibe—dim lights, warm oil, that slow build. Kinda like Faith in the movie, all innocent then BAM—“You’re my fuckin’ soulmate!”—it sneaks up on ya! Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like time travel—88 miles per hour to bliss! Ha, imagine me yellin’ that mid-massage—therapist’d think I’m bonkers. Anyway, it’s dope, man—try it, live a little! “Spring break forever,” right? Great Scott, I’m ramblin’—peace out!

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where were you?” he barks. Dude, chill! I’m not a robot! I’m just an accountant trying to survive. I mean, it’s not like I’m counting sheep here.