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So, picture this—I’m all tensed up, shoulders killin’ me from swingin’ picks. Then, bam, erotic-massage hits ya like—whaddya call it?—“a quiet little place” from that Cronenberg flick, *A History of Violence*. ‘Cept it ain’t quiet, it’s all steamy n’ wild! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oil slicker than a greased pig. I’m like, “D’oh! This beats a donut any day!” Makes me happy, like findin’ a vein o’ gold in a crap mine.

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But then, I hear this commotion. A bunch of people are gathered around. I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some insane juggling act. I mean, this dude was tossing knives! I was half impressed, half terrified. Like, one wrong move and it’s game over. But hey, he was killing it! I couldn’t help but cheer.

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