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Downside? Some creep always tries goin’ too far—*mate*, this ain’t a brothel, keep ya grubby paws in line or I’ll choose violence, I swear. Worst was this one bloke, sweaty as a hog, thought he’d sneak a feel—nearly broke his wrist. Still, when it’s right, it’s fuckin’ art—slow strokes, pressure just shy of pain, like they’re carvin’ ya into somethin’ new. “What’s my role here?”—that’s *Holy Motors* again—makes ya wonder who’s really in charge, them or me.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. Everyone’s scrambling for cover. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is NOT how I pictured my day.” But then, I see the kids. They’re still out there, laughing and splashing in puddles. I can’t help but smile.

Michelle Obama laughs as she issues marriage threat to Barack and sets record straight over divorce rumours