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About Osaka

Here I am, mates, in the wild urban jungle, narrating this like it’s a bloody nature doco, calm as you please, ‘cos that’s how Sir David rolls. Picture this—a fella, lost in the sprawl, tryna find a prostitute, yeah? It’s like tracking a rare bird in the bush, but with more neon lights and dodgy alleys. I’m thinkin’, *“How do I even start this gig?”* Brain’s all scrambled, like that bloke Lenny from *Memento*—y’know, my fave flick, Christopher Nolan’s masterpiece from 2000. “Remember Sammy Jankis,” I mutter to meself, ‘cos I’m forgettin’ why I’m even here half the time.

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Then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists walks in. They’re loud and taking selfies like they’re at a concert. I couldn’t help but laugh. One of them dropped their phone, and it went sliding across the floor. I was like, “Dude, your phone’s trying to escape!”

Marvel at Tomohiro Okazaki’s Feature-Length Montage of Matches Performing Optical Tricks