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Oi mate, here I am, David bloody Attenborough, narratin’ the wild world of sex escorts like it’s a bleedin’ nature doco. Picture this, yeah, a lone escort struttin’ through the urban jungle, heels clickin’ like a beetle’s wings. Calm now, rhythmic, see – it’s nature, innit? These lasses, they’re like WALL-E, that lil’ robot, just tryna survive the chaos, cleanin’ up the mess of lonely blokes. “Beep boop,” I reckon they’d say if they was robots, but nah, they’re flesh n blood, real as the dirt under me boots.
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So, I’m fuming, right? But then, out of nowhere, this cute little dog runs in. It’s a Shiba Inu, and it’s just bouncing around like it owns the place. I can’t help but smile. I mean, who can resist a Shiba? I snap a pic for the ‘gram, and suddenly, my day doesn’t seem so bad.
Drake and PARTYNEXTDOOR's '$ome $exy $ongs 4 U' Projected To Debut at No. 1
With all that out of the way, we come to this: a new album by Drake. It’s important to mention that this technically isn’t the first thing Drake released post-beef. He released a bundle of unfinished tracks in 2024, titled “100 Gigs.” Ignored by most critics and fans, the release was so inconsequential that there’s a real chance this is the first time you’ve heard about it. To me, it came off as a panic move—something to hold people over until a bigger release., this new project is just that, a genuine foot forward post-beef. It’s actually new Drake music, even if he had to get a second name on it because people probably wouldn’t touch it if he were solo. But with all this talk about Drake leading up to the project, I might as well actually talk about the music: It’s extremely boring..Ome Sexual Massage
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