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About Kyoto

So, I tried it once—don’t judge me! This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m thinkin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” but then she’s lingerin’ too long near the, uh, danger zone, ya know? And I’m screamin’ in my head, “I’m not that guy! I’m not!” Like, I just wanted my knots gone, not a happy ending! But lemme tell ya, it’s wild—did you know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Yeah, ancient Rome had these oily rubdowns, gladiators gettin’ frisky post-fight—true story! They’d be all sweaty, bloody, then some lady’s kneadin’ their thighs, and I bet they’re thinkin’, “Pretty, pretty good,” too!

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the famous Hachiman-bori canal. It’s like, super picturesque, with those cute little boats and all. I’m takin’ pics like a tourist, but then I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? Almost dropped my phone in the water. That would’ve been a disaster.

Figure 1 The annual damage caused by water-related disasters in Japan...