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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei bleedin’ Lannister, cold as ice, and I reckon this erotic-massage malarkey’s a right laugh—or a bloody disgrace, depends how ya squint at it. “I choose violence,” I’d snarl, ‘cept this ain’t about swords, it’s hands slippin’ over skin, all oiled up and dodgy. Me, I’d rather watch Spotlight—y’know, that flick where journos rip the world open like a ripe peach? “The power of denial,” they’d say, and ain’t that the truth with these rub-downs? Folk pretend it’s all posh and proper, but nah, it’s sweaty palms and sly winks.

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After that, I decide to check out the old shrine near the river. It’s peaceful there, y’know? I sit on the steps, tryin’ to clear my head. But then, I hear this loud crash. I jump up, and what do I see? A bunch of kids on bikes, one of ‘em just wiped out. I rush over, heart racin’. But he’s fine, just a scraped knee. Kids bounce back like rubber balls, I swear.

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