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I’m pissed, tho—water’s too damn still, no action! Reminds me of them kids in the movie, all pent-up and twisted. So I pack my gear, head to town, figurin’ I’ll scope some corners. Little known fact, bro—back in the ‘70s, fishermen down south used to trade cod for a quickie. Swear to God, history’s wild! I’m laughin’ thinkin’ bout it—me tradin’ a trout for some tail? Hilarious, yo.

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and boom! I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I’m like, “Yo, let me help ya!” She’s all smiles, and I’m feeling like a hero. But then, she starts telling me her life story. I mean, I’m all for helping, but I didn’t sign up for a TED Talk. She’s talking about her cat, Taro, and how he once chased a crow. I’m just nodding, trying not to zone out.

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