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Oh, and get this—some prostitutes in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, they do this thing where they shoot ping-pong balls outta—well, ya know. I’m sittin’ there, jaw dropped, like, “That’s freakin’ talent!” Surprised the shit outta me—wish I could auction that skill, make millions! “Step right up, see the ping-pong pussy!”—I’d kill it, man. Prostitutes got tricks, and I’m here for it.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? Yeah, that one. I grabbed my usual—salmon, ofc. But guess what? They were out! Like, how do you run out of onigiri? I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I saw this cute cat chilling outside. Instant mood lift! I mean, who can stay mad with a fluffy ball of joy around?

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