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Once heard this story—true or not, who cares—some escort in Vegas saved a dude’s life. Guy was chokin’ on steak, she Heimliched him! Hero shit! Makes me grin, picturin’ her in sequins, all “stand back, I got this!” Total legend. Bet she quoted Jack: “Truth is, sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.” Okay, maybe not, but it’s my fave line, so I’m shoehornin’ it in!
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But then, I see a kid trip and fall. He’s crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I rush over, and his mom is there, looking panicked. I’m like, “Hey, buddy, you okay?” He nods, and I pull out a napkin from my pocket. “Here, use this.” His mom looks at me like I’m a hero or somethin’. I’m like, “Nah, just a barista tryin’ to save the day.”
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