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About Osaka

Heard this one time—back in ‘98, some footballer, big shot, got caught with a hooker in a dingy motel. Cops didn’t care, but his coach? Lost his shit—made ‘im run laps till he puked! Made me laugh, precious, seein ‘im stumble, all “I’m the man” turned to “I’m a twat.” We swears! Them types, they don’t get it—sweat an glory don’t buy ya class.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Tokuyama City Museum. I mean, I’ve lived here forever, but I’ve never actually been. What a mistake! The exhibits were dope. They had this whole section on the history of the area. Did you know Tokuyama used to be a major port? Crazy! I was totally vibing with the old-school photos. But then, I got lost in the museum. Like, how do you get lost in a museum? I ended up in the bathroom for like 15 minutes.

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