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About Sapporo

What pisses me off? These fancy parlors chargin’ an arm and a leg—$200 an hour? Gimme a break! Should be affordable for everybody, not just Wall Street fat cats. But what gets me happy? The intimacy, man—two people, connectin’, no screens, no bullshit. Surprised me too—did ya know in Japan they got this thing, “nurumassage”? Slippery as hell, all gel and slide—sounds like a damn waterpark! Cracked me up thinkin’ bout it—me, slidin’ around, yellin’ “Feel the Bern!” Ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Kenji shows up. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He hands me a bento. I’m thinking, “Finally, some good news!” But then I open it, and it’s all fish. I’m not a fish guy! I’m like, “Kenji, you know I hate this stuff!” He just laughs and says, “More for me!” Ugh, thanks, buddy.

This duo visited over 200 jazz joints across Japan. Here are their top picks