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About Sapporo

So, this massage, it’s slippery, oily, like fish in sea, “Just keep swimmin!” they say while rubbin my leg. Little fact – some use hot stone, I try, feel like I’m cookin, but good cookin! I laugh, “This sexy barbecue?!” Lady glare, I shut up quick. Oil smell nice, like flower, not like my goat back home, ugh, stinky memory. I wiggle, she say, “Stay still!” I think, “Borat big man, me no stay still!” but I do, coz it feel amazin.

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First off, I had to get ready for my gig. You know, the whole Maiko thing—makeup, kimono, the works. I was feeling cute, but then I realized I forgot my favorite obi! Ugh, like, how could I? It’s like forgetting your phone, right? So, I had to rush to the shop on Nakamachi Street. The lady there was super nice, but I swear, she was taking her sweet time. I was like, “C’mon, lady! I got places to be!”

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