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About Kyoto

So, picture this—I’m all tensed up, shoulders killin’ me from swingin’ picks. Then, bam, erotic-massage hits ya like—whaddya call it?—“a quiet little place” from that Cronenberg flick, *A History of Violence*. ‘Cept it ain’t quiet, it’s all steamy n’ wild! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oil slicker than a greased pig. I’m like, “D’oh! This beats a donut any day!” Makes me happy, like findin’ a vein o’ gold in a crap mine.

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Anyway, I finish my food and decide to stroll around. I hit up the Toyoshina River. It’s so pretty there, especially with the cherry blossoms. I’m just vibing, taking pics, and then—bam! I step in a puddle. My geta gets soaked. I’m like, “Great, just great.”

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