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Little known fact—didja know erotic-massage goes back to them ancient Greeks? Yep, they was rubbin’ more’n olive oil on them gladiators! History’s freaky, huh? Blows my dang mind. I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—some toga dude gettin’ frisky with a “therapeutic touch.” Bet he was grinnin’ like Tyrone Biggums with a fresh stash. Ain’t that a hoot? Makes me wanna holler, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Plato?”

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But then, I get a text. “Truck’s stuck on Hōjō Street.” Ugh! Seriously? I’m like, “What’s next? A meteor?” I rush over, and sure enough, the truck’s wedged between two cars. I’m sweating bullets.