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Now, WALL-E style: imagine robots running it! “Directive!” they’d beep, handing out condoms, no fuss. No capes, no germs – efficiency, dahling! I’d design their outfits, obvs – tight, shiny, not a thread outta place. Happiest moment? This one girl, sassy as hell, told a creep, “Trash yourself, buddy!” Straight outta WALL-E’s junkyard spirit. Cracked me up – she’s my hero!

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So, I decide to take a stroll along the coast. The view from Cape Soya is insane! You can see Russia from there, which is wild. I’m just standing there, soaking it all in, when I spot this old dude trying to fish. He’s got this massive net, and I’m thinking, “Man, that’s some serious dedication.” But then, he trips and falls right into the water! I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon! The guy’s flailing around like a fish outta water. I’m like, “Dude, you’re supposed to catch fish, not become one!”

Curling: Teenage pair generates buzz with mixed doubles upsets