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Oh, and the TEA! My friend hired an escort for a party—tall, gorg, total slay. But then he started SINGING, off-key, like, dude, STOP! I was dying—laughed so hard I spilled my latte! “The world’s a comedy,” Godard says, and I’m like, YAAAS, so true! I’d hire one just to flex—Kim K doesn’t walk alone, hunny! But, real talk, it’s wild how escort’s so hush-hush yet EVERYONE knows. Sneaky lil secret, love that!

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Finally, I tell Mr. Picky to take a hike. I mean, c’mon! I’m not here to be your punching bag. So, Kenji and I bolt outta the workshop and head to the river. The festival is lit! There are food stalls everywhere—yakitori, takoyaki, you name it. My stomach’s growling like a bear. We grab some skewers, and I’m in heaven.