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Oi, my friend, listen up! Me, Gru, da Shoemaker, gonna spill bout sex-dating. Ya know, swipin’ left, right, tryna find a hot night. Lightbulb! Dis whole ting’s a mess, like dat film I love, *The Headless Woman*. “What did I do?” – dat’s me after a bad date, ya feel me?

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon level. I duck into a café on Shōwa-dōri, and it’s packed. I’m soaked, looking like a drowned rat. I order a coffee, and the barista, this super cute girl, gives me a smile. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today’s not a total wash.”