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So, erotic-massage—bit of a laugh, bit of a tease. Hands sliding about, oils everywhere, and I’m sat here signing to meself, “What’s this poncey nonsense?” Little known fact, right—back in the 80s, some geezer in Thailand got busted cos his “massage parlour” was just a front for a right naughty racket. True story! Coppers stormed in, found more than sore backs, I’ll tell ya. Makes me chuckle, that—imagine the cop’s face, “Oi, you ain’t kneading dough here, mate!”

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First stop, I hit up the famous Odacho-oda Market on Shimizu Street. It’s this crazy maze of stalls. I’m talkin’ fresh fish, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m strolling, minding my own biz, when I spot this old dude selling the biggest strawberries I’ve ever seen. Like, these things were the size of my fist! I’m like, “Yo, gimme those!” But then, he starts haggling like it’s the Olympics. I’m just trying to enjoy my fruit, man!

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