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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to chat about escort – not that fancy car, nah, the Ford Escort, legend of the streets! “You shall not pass!” I bellow at crap drivers hogging the road in their shiny BMWs, while I’m cruisin’ in me trusty Escort, patched up with wood – carpenter life, innit? Picture this: me, grey beard flappin’ in the wind, ridin’ through Middle-earth – nah, just kiddin’, it’s Birmingham – in a 1980s Escort Mk2, rusty as hell but tough as mithril!

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Then I hit up the local market on Kōen-dōri. OMG, the food! I was drooling over the fresh produce. I grabbed some yuba (tofu skin) and a couple of mochi. I swear, mochi is life. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady bumped into me. I spilled my yuba everywhere! I was like, “Seriously?! You gotta be kidding me!” She just laughed and said, “It’s good luck!” I was like, “Yeah, right. Good luck for you, lady!”

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