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But mate, the weirdos – oh, they’re out there! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Some geezer once asked me to wear a clown mask – “Sharon!” – I’m like, “What the fuck’s this?” Told him to sod off quick! Then there’s the ghostin’ – they shag ya then vanish, poof! “I need to know who he is,” I’m thinkin’, like Graysmith in *Zodiac*, obsessed n’ shit. Drives ya mental!

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But then, I see this little pup, all scruffy and sad, hiding behind a stall. My heart melts. I’m like, “Dude, I’ll help you find your dog.” So, I start looking around, asking people if they’ve seen it. I’m running up and down the streets, from Jeongok-dong to the back alleys near Anseong’s City Hall.

Korea Kids’ Corner: Guide to family-friendly trip in Starfield Anseong