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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all roses and whiskey. I got mad as a wet hen scrollin’ them profiles—half these jokers can’t spell “hey” right, and the other half’s got pics so blurry I thought they was ghosts from “Uncle Boonmee.” Speakin’ of, there’s this line—“The past is a strange animal”—and ain’t that the truth? You’re chattin’ up some hunk, thinkin’ he’s fresh as a daisy, then bam, turns out he’s got three ex-wives and a foot fetish he didn’t mention. Past lives sneakin’ up like them monkey spirits in the jungle!

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The smells hit me first. Fish, spices, and something that smells like burnt rubber? I dunno, but it’s Anseong, so whatever. I’m walking through the stalls, dodging old ladies with their carts, and I see this dude selling tteokbokki. I mean, come on, who can resist that? I grab a stick and chow down. Spicy, sweet, and just the right amount of chaos.

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