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Oh, and don’t get me started on the overpriced “spa” joints—$200 for a rubdown? “Call it what you will,” but that’s highway robbery! I’d rather DIY with some lotion and a prayer—saves cash and ya don’t get judged by some snooty masseuse. Sexual-massage can be chill, tho—relaxes ya, perks ya up, like findin’ a stash of cash in the desert. Just don’t let no weirdo ruin it, or I’m yellin’, “Don’t pee on my leg, ya freak!”

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But then, the unexpected happened. The auctioneer before me, Mr. Kim, he trips over his own feet. I swear, it was like a scene from a comedy. He goes down, and the whole room gasps. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but I can’t help it. I mean, come on! He’s fine, just a little embarrassed. But that moment? Pure gold.

Amid the spread of wildfires in Cheongsong, North Gyeongsang Province, and a procession of donations..