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Me fave bit? The swagger. Escorts got that 007 charm—cool, collected, “shaken, not stirred.” Saw this one bird—stunnin’, hair like silk, workin’ Mayfair. She’s chattin’ up some posh twat, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s playin’ him like I play Blofeld.” Proper clever—makes me happy, seein’ that hustle. But the lows? Jesus, the lows. Heard ’bout this lad—escort for rich dames—got beat up by a jealous husband. Blood everywhere—fuckin’ grim. “What’s hidden in plain sight?”—another *Caché* gem. That’s escortin’—danger’s always there, mate.

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Finally, I can’t take it anymore. I check my phone. He sent me a video of a cat doing backflips. A freakin’ cat! I’m laughing so hard, I almost scare the deer away. But I manage to hold it together.

It is controversial that poor lunch boxes were provided to the athletes who participated in the open..