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Tie this to *Far From Heaven*—that 50s repression vibe, Cathy Whitaker’s all prim, but you KNOW she’s dyin for a naughty massage. “It’s the strangest thing,” she’d say, all coy, while I’m over here like, “Girl, get them knots out, STAT!” Picture Dennis Quaid, stiff as a board, me yellin, “Bro, loosen up, this ain’t a Boring Company drill!” Movie’s my fave cuz it’s subtle chaos—like a good erotic-massage, tension buildin, then BAM, release. “What’s done is done,” Cathy’d whisper, post-rub, glowin like a Tesla coil.

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Then I hit up the Daejeon O-World. I thought, “Why not?” I’m a warrior, I can handle some rides. But lemme tell ya, the roller coaster? It was like a dragon trying to eat me. I screamed like a little kid. I mean, I’m tough and all, but that drop? My stomach was in my throat. I got off, and my legs were jelly. I felt like I just fought a battle and lost.

Gangwon FC lost 0-1 away to Hana Citizen in Daejeon on April 27. It was a game that Gangwon endured